what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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