So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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