upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
