you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
