plz talk dirty to me
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
