I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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