Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
its not stalking. its research.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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