I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
