When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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