im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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