Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
