You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I am puke
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Randomize
