escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I love you.
Bad choice
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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