When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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