I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
