i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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