ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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