Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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