when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
