Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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