so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
