My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Still dying that you shit outside
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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