1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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