yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize