Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
