Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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