Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Randomize