he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
