they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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