loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I can't turn off my feet"
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
