I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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