just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
