She just used a chaser for red wine.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
