Buhtt sex?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
