the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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