Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
