i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
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Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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