I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
