so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
