Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
