now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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