we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Two words: blizzard sex
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
