I can't watch pbs sober anymore
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
