so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
