My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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