as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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