OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
