I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize