Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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