easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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