i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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