Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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