I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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