Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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