He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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