Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize