the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
