I am in a vortex of obligation.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
