Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
